A Wild WACKY Life
by imsocrazy
Summary: How would things be if Tom Riddle never went dark? What if he was a marauder along with Severus? How would things be if it was Severus who married Lily? Well click here to find out. my version of a severitus challange. TEMPORARILY ON HOLD!
1. PreWedding nerves

**A wild wacky life**

Imsocrazy: hello all you Harry potter fans out there! I've got to be like the most totally like most crazy fan out there or here or wherever. Whateva. This is something that has been formulating in my mind for so long I'm surprised that it hasn't become corrupted. Like I said to Sev the other day pleeeez. Ok I'm sure that does not make sense. So here enjoy and flames are so like totally welcome jumps up and down in obvious joy

Disclaimer: 'ello all you happy people. I own Harry potter I own Harry potter!

Lawyers: no you don't know you don't

Me: yes I do yes I do

Lawyers: do you want to be sued do you want to be sued?

Me: obviously not obviously not

Lawyers: then you don't own it you don't own it!

Me: ok ok ok ok PLEASE NOTE : I NEED A BETA READER! E-MAIL ME IF YOU ARE KEEN.

CHAPTER 1: PRE- WEDDING NERVES FOR SEVERUS

Severus Snape, the world's youngest potions master, was nervous. It was his wedding day. He had been waiting for this day for so long and now it was finally here. He was going to marry his high school love, Lily Evans. He and Lily had been dating since their third year and after graduation, and I mean straight after graduation, he asked her to marry him. She obviously said yes otherwise there wouldn't be a wedding now would there. Severus had asked his best friends James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Tom Riddle to be his best men. They had been called the Hogwarts Marauders and caused so much chaos. They had become animungi in order to help Remus, who was a werewolf. Although Remus transformed into a real were once a month, he wielded the power to transform into a normal gray wolf at other times. Since they decided that they were a group of troublemakers they needed codenames. And so the marauders, Prongs (James), Padfoot (Sirius), Pythag (Tom), Moony (Remus) and Salzar (Severus) had finally come to be. Their animungus forms were that of a stag, a big shaggy dog, a humungous python, a gray wolf and a sleek black jaguar. They were so close many often mistook them for brothers, which they were, in a way.

Severus paced the length of his dressing room where he was waiting with three of his four best men. Since Lily's dad had passed away she had asked Tom to walk her down the aisle. Tom had been given ' pick up the bride duty' and he was late. James, Sirius and Remus watched their friend pace the room in fascination and in some cases amusement. " Um Sal I think that the rug can't take anymore of your pacing," said Remus. James and Sirius were trying not to laugh as Remus tried to get through to the agitated potions master. Severus stopped pacing and stared at Remus as if he just noticed he was there and continued pacing. By now James and Sirius were trying so hard not to burst out laughing that they started going red from the strain. " WHAT IS TAKING THEM SO LONG!" cried Severus frustrated at the non-stop waiting and his nerves. Sirius let loose a snort and when the potions mater turned and glared at him he fell out of his chair laughing. " Calm…Down… Sal…They'll…Be. …Here…In ….No…Time…" said Sirius in between breathes of fresh air. Severus ran a hand through his shoulder length black hair for what seemed like the 20th time that day. Sirius, who had partly recovered, burst out laughing again at the sight of Sev's hair. It stuck out at odd ends and made James' mop look neat. Remus, who was quietly snickering at his friend, led him over to the mirror. All the birds in the vicinity took flight at Severus' cry " WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!" This time both Remus and James burst out in laughter at their friend's antics. They had very rarely seen Severus this nervous at to them it was a once in a lifetime spectacle. Severus grabbed the hairbrush off the dresser and began running it through his disheveled hair. After Sev was satisfied with how his hair was he resumed pacing nervously. " Sal if you don't calm down and sit I'm going to have to stun you or put you in a full body bind." Joked James. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and in popped the head of one Tom Riddle. " Hey hey hey did you miss me!"

One very nervous, very agitated Severus Snape instantly tackled Tom. " Tom did you fetch lily? Is she ok? Oh my god what if she does not want to marry me anymore? Tom, tell me did you pick up lily? Was she dressed…" said Severus as he shook the life out of Tom. Remus and James tried restraining him while Sirius laughed his head off on the ground. " Woah Sal one question at a time," exclaimed Tom as he rubbed his sore shoulders. " Yes I did pick up lily, yes she was dressed, yes she does still want to marry you and yes she was ok." Said Tom out of breath. " Sal you need to calm down you're a nervous wreck! You are going to collapse soon then you won't be able to marry Lily." Chided Remus gently. Severus jumped up from his seat " but I am calm Moony, don't know what you are talking about" cried Severus pacing the length of the floor again. " Sorry Sal but this is for your own good _stupefy_" Severus fell to the floor with a resounding BANG! Remus and James carried him to the chair where the unceremoniously dumped him. "_engravate,_" said Remus after they made sure they had Severus tied to they chair. " REMUS LUPIN I DEMAND THAT YOU RELEASE ME FROM THIS CHAIR! WHEN I AM FREE I AM GOING TO KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!" James left the dressing room only to return within a few minutes. " Guys its show time!" Sirius picked himself up from the floor where he was lying after his laughing fit and brushed off his tuxedo. Tom did a final check, and then exited the dressing room, Sirius following behind him. Remus and James helped the very irate Severus to his feet and helped him straighten up. They finally left the room with the numb and nervous man in tow. Severus allowed himself to be led out of the room one thought running through his head _I am going to get married to Lily even if I have to die trying cause she's the only one for me._

Imsocrazy: and that's where I leave off for now. Please be nice and leave a review or e-mail. Flames are accepted. This is my first harry potter fanfiction but expect many more from me. Next update will probably be in two weeks cause I'm going on camp. See you when I get back. Don't forget the button. Also I know it's a bit short. I'm working on it people give me time it will get longer. Bye!


	2. What A Wedding!

Me: damn this chapter took forever! Thanks to all who reviewed for the first chapter. It's nice to know that you care and enjoy my story or that you gave me ways to improve my writing. Thanks to all. By the way the beta reader position has been filled. Sorry but you had your chance. Today I haven't been able to kidnap anyone from Harry potter so I'll do the disclaimer myself. I don't own anything ok. So stop hounding me. Here's the next chapter for a wild wacky life. School sucks! Sorry about the wait but I had started another story that I wanted to post and I had to the update for my other story in Tokyo Mew Mew plus I had His last breath to work on so you see I've been a bit busy. Plus I'm waiting for reviews. Thanks again to the nice person who reviewed for chapter 1. Please people I even accept flames so review I love reading them. Have to read my new story, To have a brother to find out about the special treat I'm going to give my reviewers. Ok on to the chapter. I improved the layout after seeing how the first chapter looked. Thanks to my wonderful beta ElenaAngel

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**CHAPTER 2: WHAT A WEDDING!**

Severus stood nervously fidgeting, waiting for the ceremony to start. He was all by himself as James, Sirius and Remus where going to come in with the bridesmaids. Severus glanced around looking at those who had come to the wedding. He saw his mother, Serenity, who looked as if she was going to cry. Beside her sat Lily's mom, Violet. The women in the Evans family had the tradition of being named after flowers. Next to Violet sat Lily's sister, Petunia. His lips curled in distaste. He had never liked the woman who had a deep hate for anything to do with magic. Beside the horse-like woman sat her husband, Vernon Dursley. The man was beefy with hardly any neck. Severus moved his gaze away from the revolting couple and spotted his previous potions professor and mentor Rudolf Shirogane. _(Don't own_ _Shirogane)_ His professor had originally been from Asia but had transferred to Hogwarts a year before he started attending school there. He had really like his professor and it was him who had helped him get his Masters in potions. He had told Severus that if he successfully completed the program he would be the youngest potions master in fifty years. Giving his professor a small smile Severus continued looking at those who had gathered there. He saw his friend Lucius Malfoy. Lucius was head over heals in love with one of their former classmates Narcissa Black, who had been a Ravenclaw. The two had started dating right after they finished school. He knew that Lucius' dream was to have a family but the man had been unable to conceive after he had suffered from the terminal muggle illness, cancer. Since the wizarding methods of treating cancer where far more superior to their muggle counterparts Lucius had been cured but it had rendered him infertile. The man had been devastated. At least now he looked like he was back to his normal self. Severus spotted a few more of his and the rest of the marauders friends as well as a few more of Lily's friends.

Severus heard the music start and turned to face the front. James was leading the procession with Sabrina Boerta, Lily's best friend. Next Sirius came with Gina Greenburg, Lily's youngest cousin, as his partner. Finally Remus came with Nymphronda Tonks, Lily's second best friend and Remus' love interest. His three best men stood beside him while the three bridesmaids stood on the other side waiting for the wedding march to begin.

"You nervous?" asked James from his side.

"No I just enjoy shaking like a leaf, what do _you _think?" he answered sarcastically.

"Don't worry everything will go fine"

All conversation stopped when the when the wedding march began playing. Everyone stood and faced the back as Tom led Lily down the aisle. Severus sucked in a breath. Lily had put her long wavy red hair in a loose bun with a few strands loose, which framed her face. Her eyes were outlined in a dark blue bringing out her vivid emerald green eyes. She had applied a silver eye shadow and soft pink lipstick, which brought out most of her natural beauty. Lily's floor length dress was not too tight fitting but brought out her curves nicely. The bodice was a cream with silver trimmings while the rest of the dress was made of a pale white lace, which whispered softly as she walked. All in all Lily looked like Cinderella at the ball and Severus just wanted to get the wedding over and done with so he could sweep her off her feet and have her all to himself. The whole procession to the front took way too long in Severus' opinion but Lily was finally at the front with him at the alter. Finally the ceremony could start and they would officially be Mr. and Mrs. Severus Snape.

"We are gathered here today to witness the joining of Severus Antonio Snape and Lily Anne Marie Evans in holy matrimony. These two young people have been in love for the whole time they attended Hogwarts, as all their closest friends and family know all too well. If anyone objects to the joining of these two wonderful people speak now or forever hold your peace." Said the minister.

Severus held his breath; his father had wholly disapproved of his marriage to Lily and had decided not come to the wedding. Suddenly the doors to the chapel burst open and admitted Severus' father Galileo Matador Snape. The man looked drunk and had his wand in hand not to mention a mad glint in his eyes.

"I told you that I will not let you marry the mudblood Severus and I mean what I say. C_rucio_" Severus collapsed to his knees as the curse hit him. Everyone sat/stood frozen in shock as they watched the deranged man hold the curse on his son yet Severus did not scream. It was almost as if he were used to the pain. Galileo soon got bored of just putting his son under the crutacius and decided to use another spell, one that was very rarely used because of the extreme pain it caused. The pain was ten times worse than the crutacius.

"_Facio dolor_!"

The spell shot was lavender purple and hit Severus in the chest. The pain was something Severus had never experienced before and he let out a torturous scream. Galileo laughed as his son lay screaming on the floor. He let up the curse and Severus was left gasping on the floor, faint shudders racking his body.

"Now to deal with the mudblood." He slurred as he moved his eyes away from his son. James, Remus, Tom and Sirius moved in front of Lily wands drawn

"I won't let you hurt Lily you bastard." Said James, his voice deadly calm. "She is meant to be Mrs. Severus Snape and that is who she will be, whether we have to chop you to pieces or not"

"No mudblood will have my name. F_acio dolor"_

The spell shot past James and hit Remus, who was standing in front of Lily. He fell down and started screaming from the pain. The curse was lifted as soon as Remus passed out. Galileo then smirked.

"G_lacialis spectro" _he said freezing everyone there except Lily and Severus. There was nothing they could do as the sat/stood watching Galileo, Severus and Lily.

"What have I ever done to make you hate the fact that Severus and I are getting married?" asked Lily boldly

"You have corrupted my son so it is time to make you pay. Goodbye you were such a pretty thing too. _Avada_," began Galileo.

Lily stood her ground while tears fell down her face. 'Well I guess this is it' she thought as she saw the green light forming at the tip of Galileo's wand. 'Goodbye Sev I loved you so much! I guess it was never meant to be' "_kedav_-" the spell was never finished as Severus had shot the crutacius at his father.

"I.WILL.NOT.LET.YOU.HARM.MY.SOON.TO.BE.WIFE._FATHER." _said Severus in a calm but deadly voice. He spat father as if it were a curse. "Lily and I were meant to be together. If it means I have to kill you then so be it!"

"You are a disappointment Severus Antonio Snape. You're no son of mine. _Facio dolor_!" Severus dodged the lavender curse.

"C_rucio_" shouted Severus. Galileo managed to dodge most of the spell but got caught by his shoulder. He gritted his teeth against the pain.

"You are sooo dead brat, _Avada Kedavra_" Severus dodged the spell thrown at him. Galileo saw Severus was too distracted to notice anything else except dodging his spells. Now was his chance to get the mudblood.

"You will regret the day you went against my orders Severus. Say goodbye. _Glacialis spectro_" Severus stood rooted to the spot, frozen in his father's spell "such a shame _Avada Kedavra_"

The spell shot towards Severus but before it hit his body it curved and headed to Lily. "Severus!" she screamed as the green spell shot towards her.

'No you will not win' thought Severus 'LILY!'

Suddenly there was a bright white light, as Severus broke free from his father's spell. "_Protego_" he shouted. A midnight blue shield appeared around Lily, blocking the curse directed at her. Severus then turned to his father. All he could see was red rage. The bastard had tried to kill his wife.

"You will pay for that," he drawled. Severus then put a shield around them barely registering that he was using wandless magic. Everyone was watching in awe and horror. Albus also watched with an all too familiar twinkle in his eyes. The marauders, including Remus who had awoken from his unconscious state when the powerful surge of energy had occurred, also watched in amazed horror. They had known Severus was powerful but they never thought it was to this level.

"So father" drawled Severus "You think it is funny to try and ruin the most important day of my life. To try and kill the woman I love just so I can follow your evil purposes. Well now I am going to end this once and for all. I am going to send you to the hell you belong to. _Crucio_"

And so the duel between father and son began. Galileo was dodging the spells but a few did catch him at intervals. Severus just kept shooting in a blind rage. This... this thing had tried to harm Lily HIS Lily and he was not going to let him get away with it. Finally Galileo and Severus seemed to tire although Severus was the more energetic of the two.

"_Stupefy_" Severus cried. The spell caught Galileo in the leg and he fell down with a dull_ thunk_. Severus trained his wand onto his father and was about to utter the killing curse when Lily ran to him and clutched his arm.

"No don't do it Sev! I'm not hurt, just leave it be" She pleaded. Severus looked into Lily's watery green eyes and dropped his wand and the shield. He undid the stunning curse on his father and turned away with Lily. Galileo slowly trained his wand on his son.

"You made a mistake by letting me live Severus now you will die _Avada Kedavra_!"

The curse hit Severus in the back and with a pain-filled scream he fell down unconscious. However it rebounded of his body and hit Galileo instantly killing him. The spell, which Galileo had placed on everyone, broke and instantaneously Violet, Serenity and the marauders rushed to Severus' side. James and Remus pulled a near hysterical Lily from Severus as Tom and Sirius attempted to calm the older women. Albus kneeled next to Severus' body and searched for a pulse. He gasped in shock as he found a faint one.

"GET ME POPPY!" he bellowed as he picked up Severus' limp body. He carried him back to the dressing room where he placed him on the couch and covered him with a light blanket. The door to the dressing room burst open and admitted a very hysterical Lily, Poppy Pomfrey, a very much disheveled looking James followed closely by Remus. Tom and Sirius had opted to take the two mothers into Lily's dressing room and try and restore calm in the chapel.

"How's Severus?" cried Lily after Poppy finished her examination.

"Well he's alive thankfully and just needs a few hours rest. He needs to take the potion I have left when he wakes up to ensure there is no nerve damage. Remus I want you to take that potion as well. Do I make myself clear?" she said eyeing everyone carefully.

"Yes thank you Poppy, would you like to stay for the rest of the wedding?" Asked Albus as everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"No thank you, I have to get back to my cousin's. She's expecting her baby any day now and wanted me there with her. I'll be back to check up on Severus' progress soon. And congratulations Lily I know you and Severus will be very happy."

"Thank you Poppy for everything you've done for us. I don't know how we'll be able to repay you" Lily said with a watery smile

"Oh no dear I'm just happy to help," replied Poppy and with that she disapperated.

"Let me go and tell everyone that Severus will be alright. Do you want us to postpone the wedding Lily?" asked James as he headed for the door.

"No need for that as I am awake and ready to get the show on the road so to speak" said Severus hoarsely.

"Severus oh you're awake! You need your rest mister. We can postpone the wedding until tomorrow or until you are stronger" Lily said firmly.

"No Lils I have waited for this for so long that I don't want to wait any longer." Severus pleaded with her.

"Ok we'll do it after you've had a bit more of a rest. Now go to sleep my love and we'll get married when you awaken." Lily said gently. Severus nodded and was out like a light again.

* * *

5 hours later Severus and Lily were finally wed. They were now at the reception enjoying their first dance together as Mr. and Mrs. Severus Snape. As they were gliding around the room James laid his head on Sirius' shoulder.

"They sure do look happy don't they?" he asked watching their happy friends. Sirius turned to face his lover. (A/N surprise! Don't worry, very slight, practically non-existent slash)

"Yah they do love. They certainly deserve it. Did you hear? Sev wants us, all of us, to move in with him and Lily at Snape manor. His mother doesn't want to live there anymore than she has to and has bought a cottage near the coast. With his father dead he has now inherited the place. It should be fun, all of us living under the same roof. The place has already been changed to suit Severus, courtesy of his mom and we can move in and house sit while the lovebirds are on their honeymoon. Think of the mischief we can get into" Sirius said with a slightly evil grin. James gave him an evil grin of his own before he gave him a peck on the lips and went to go and chat with Remus. Tom joined Sirius and steered him towards the buffet table.

"Is the you-know-what set up?" whispered Tom into Sirius' ear. Sirius nodded

"Yes it's due to start just as soon as they finish their dance." Just then the music finished and Lily and Severus walked off the dance floor. "Look there's Remus now." Sirius and Tom left and went to join James, who had conjured a bowl of popcorn, in the front row of seats.

"Ladies and gentlemen please take a seat as we have a little something special to show you in honour of our dear friend Severus Snape." Said Remus "oh and Sev this is all James, Tom and Sirius' idea if you want to kill anyone it's them" Remus stepped down from the podium and took a seat next to Tonks. Suddenly the lights dimmed and a picture of the Slytherin boys' dorm was seen. Severus groaned.

"I don't believe they actually recorded this. They are so dead after the show."

"What's this all about Sev?" asked Lily curiously

"The end of my life as I know it." Answered Severus.

_(Movie)_

16-year-old Severus Snape lay fast asleep in his bed snoring slightly. I mean what other 16 year old boy would not love to sleep in on a Saturday especially after a grueling night of tutorial for a potions master certificate. Tom Riddle, Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus Lupin that's who. Tom had gone and fetched the Gryffindors that morning just to play a prank on their fellow marauder. The four snickered quietly as Severus gave an almighty snore and rolled onto his side.

"Are you ready guys?" asked Tom eager to get the party started.

"Yep on the count of three one…two…three" replied Remus.

They said the incantation and still snickering they left the room and went to the great hall to see their plan put into motion.

A little while later Severus entered the great hall still yawning. Even though each house had its own table it had become a regular occurrence for either the Gryffindor marauders to sit at the Slytherin table or visa versa. Today Tom and Severus were situated at Gryffindor table.

"Morning Sal!" the marauders chorused. Severus just grumbled in response. He was not a morning person. He grabbed a cup of coffee and after downing the beverage felt his body become more alive. However he was greeted with snickers from his comrades. He shrugged it off as nothing as his girlfriend, Lily Evans, sat down beside him.

"Morning honey" he said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning Sevvie" she replied knowing he hated that nickname. Severus grimaced slightly but returned to the ever-daunting task of locating toast on the table. Lily glanced up at her boyfriend, who never ate much at breakfast, and smiled when she saw his hair. It was bright neon green and clashed horribly with his blue robes. She looked to the rest of the marauders with a look that clearly said 'you are so dead when he finds out' knowing how paranoid Severus was about his hair. She often braided it for him when he asked her to. She silently shook her head and went back to her own breakfast.

Breakfast was nearly finished when Severus noticed something was wrong with his hair. He had bent over to retrieve the fork he had dropped when some of his hair fell into his face. He grabbed it and pulled it so he could see it better. It looked green, not only that but neon green.

"Lily can I please lend your mirror?" Severus asked panic slowly making its way through his body.

"Sure Sevvie" she said with a smile knowing full well what was going to happen now. The marauders and the rest of the school also watched in anticipation, knowing full well what Severus' reaction was going to be like. It seemed even the teachers were waiting in anticipation. They certainly weren't disappointed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY HAIR! JAMES, REMUS, TOM, AND SIRIUS YOU GUYS ARE SO DEAD!"

And so the biggest war Hogwarts had ever seen inside her walls began. Well you can't exactly call it a war as a neon green haired Severus chased his friends around Gryffindor table shouting all the harmless curses he could think of.

"James _pant_ this is _pant_ all your _pant_ FAULT!" yelled Sirius as they were chased around the table for the 36th time " do something before I collapse"

"Okay when we reach Arthur Wesley we will initiate plan 46. Pass it on to the others"

Soon enough they had reached the point were Arthur was seated. They turned around and uttered the spell necessary for the execution of plan 46. They quickly turned around and started running for they knew that if they hung around too long they would not live long enough to finish their last year at Hogwarts. A loud thunk was heard as Severus slipped on his own invention, too slippery water, and fell flat on his face. A cry of outrage was all that was heard as the film ended.

_(End movie)_

Severus was beet-red by the time the film was finished and Remus had once again taken the stand. He waited until the laughter in the hall had died down.

"That just goes to show you folks that messing with Severus Snape is something that can end in laughter and quite a few visits to the hospital wing. Severus you are such a great friend who obsesses about his hair a bit too much. I wish you all the happiness I know you'll receive with Lily. Lily you were the one to comfort me when I couldn't talk to anyone else. For that I am grateful. I wish you all the best in your marriage and look forward to living with you and your very funny husband. So let us raise our glasses to Severus and Lily"

A chorus of 'to Severus and Lily' rang out through the hall as everyone toasted to the newly weds. The reception continued well into the afternoon until Severus had to announce their departure.

"Thank you everyone for joining us on our very special day. We have thoroughly enjoyed ourselves but I'm afraid Lily and I have to take our leave if we want to be in France for our honeymoon. Sirius, Tom, James and Remus I am counting on you to keep the house tidy for our return or a plague of unfortunate events shall befall you." He said with a chuckle "again thank you and we wish you well come on Lils the car is waiting"

The newly weds ran out of the room were everyone sprayed them with rice. Soon everyone was gathered outside bidding them farewell. Lily threw her bouquet out of the window just as the limo started to move. Tonks caught it. Soon the limo was out of site and the guest had headed home. Sirius and the rest of the marauders slumped into the chairs lining the wall. They sat in silence until Tom exclaimed

"WHAT A WEDDING!"

There were many murmurs of agreement as the weary pranksters' disapperated to their new home.

End chapter

* * *

Imsocrazy: Whoa this chapter took forever and is sooo much longer than the last one. Please review for this chapter. I think I only got one or two reviews for my previous chapter. I admit it was not that great but I think the story has progressed to be much better. Please I really love hearing from you guys. Flame me if you want I don't care! Oh and every reviewer of my Harry potter stories will receive an invitation to the special story I'm writing for the festive season. I think. Not too clear on that. Check out to have a brother for the correct info. But for now peace out. Don't forget to review 


	3. What a mess!

Imsocrazy: hello! I had so much spare time during the half term that I did this story as well as To have a brother chapters 2 and 3. I'm just so proud of myself.

Tom: yeah I'm sure you are

Imsocrazy: thank you to everyone who reviewed for the other chapters. I promise at the end of the story I'll make a special reviewers page so I can thank you all individually and properly. Now on with the chapter, Tom disclaimer please

Tom: imsocrazy does not own a thing except her very weird and stupid stories

Imsocrazy: you are so mean. Thank you Elena for beta' ring my chapters. I do not know what I'll do without you

**Chapter 3: What a mess!**

It was two weeks after Severus and lily had left for their honeymoon and the marauders had had free run of Snape manor while they were away. Since none of the marauders were expert cooks or cooks at all they decided it best to order take put instead of trying to eat each others cooking remembering what happened when Severus had asked them to make breakfast as he worked on his potions in the basement.

**Flashback**

Sirius and James woke that morning with an incurable to have pancakes. Like most fourteen year old boys their age the first thing that came to their minds was food so they headed down the hall to wake Remus and Tom, who had been sharing a room together. Severus had taken his own bedroom. The five of them had decided to spend the Christmas holiday away from Hogwarts and Severus' mother had opened the manor to them as she and her husband had to go on a trip and would be out of the house for a while. They knew that Severus was very capable of taking care of himself and did not need to worry abut him.

"Wakie wakie up and addum you guys" Sirius chanted as he pranced around the room.

The two lumps in the bed just groaned and turned over, clutching a pillow to their heads. James and Sirius however were not discouraged.

"Come on you guys we want pancakes!" James said tugging at the pillow covering Remus' head.

At the mention of pancakes Tom was out of bed in a flash and taking a shower. Remus however was still curled up in his blankets and seemed to be growling at anyone who dared to wake him from his slumber. The guys backed off knowing Remus would probably bite their head off, literally. Tom, who was finished with his shower, was now rummaging through his trunk for something to wear. He eventually decided on a black t-shirt on top of blue jeans and a blue cloak. It was winter and cold inside the manor no matter how many heating charms were cast.

"C'mon I'm hungry" he said and headed out the room and down the stairs, Sirius and James not far behind

When they entered the kitchen however there was no sign of any house elves.

"Where are he house elves and come to think of it where is Severus? We always find him up before us" asked Sirius puzzled

"I think Severus is working on his new potion experiment. We will find him in the basement." Answered James and the three of them trudged down to the basement in search of their friend

When they reached the bottom of the stairs they saw Severus hunched over a cauldron, stirring counter-clockwise. Sirius was about to speak when Severus held up a hand to silence them. He finished his stirring and straitened, lowering the fire beneath his cauldron.

"There now all I have to do is leave it to simmer a bit." He turned to face them "morning guys what are you doing down here and where is Moony?" he asked them

"Moony is still in bed and we came down here to ask you were are the house elves? We're hungry and feel like pancakes" whined Sirius.

Severus looked to be deep in thought and then smacked himself on the forehead "of course today's the day mother said the house elves will be doing our Christmas shopping and we'll have to fend for ourselves. Okay guys let's go and make those pancakes" and with that he led them back into the kitchen.

Now I'm sure we all now that fourteen year old guys are not familiar with the kitchen except for when they are in need of food so it came as no surprise that four of the five marauders were staring at a frying pan as if it would bite them

"Uhh Severus why don't you touch it" James said wearily

"And get my hand bitten off no ways, Tom you touch it" Severus said defiantly

"No Sirius you touch it" Tom argued

"Nuh uh I'm not touching it." Sirius countered

"Look you guys this is getting us no where. Tom, Severus you both are halfbloods why do you not know what that," here James pointed at the frying pan "does?"

"Because James even though I'm a halfblood my mother uses only magic in the house so we don't have things like that" Tom replied pointing to the frying pan once again

"So what are we going to do starve?" Sirius wailed

"No we are going to drag Remus out of bed and get him to make us breakfast because he is the only one amongst us who takes muggle studies" Tom replied

With that said he boys marched upstairs like men on a mission which they were for now they wee getting very hungry. However when they got to the room which Tom and Remus shared they found Remus at the desk reading. They mentally sighed with relief as now their problems were over. They quickly explained the situation to Remus, who just smiled and grabbed his muggle studies text and headed downstairs, the others impatiently following. When they reached the kitchen Remus turned to address them

"In this book my friends, I have the recipe for the worlds best pancakes and how to around using the equipment. This," here he picked up the frying pan "is the instrument we will use to cook the pancakes. It is called…" Remus flipped through his text book quickly "aha it is called a frying pan. Worship it my friends for it will wield for us the delicious food we mean to make"

The boys quickly dropped to their knees and started singing their praises to the frying pan. Soon they had worshiped all the items necessary for making the pancakes and were busy mixing the ingredients together.

"Uh Remus what does the text say to do now after we add the flour?" asked a pretty white Sirius

"Umm," Remus quickly consulted his text book "it says add eggs and milk"

Sirius looked first at the eggs then at Remus and shrugged "okay if that's what it says" and he then proceeded to drop all the eggs into the mixing bowl, shell and all.

"Severus how is it coming there at the stove? Is the oil hot yet?"

Severus turned to Remus a scowl firmly fixed on his face "How am I supposed to know if the bloody oil is hot Remus?"

"Touch it of course" Remus replied

Severus glared at him and started to needle Tom into touching the oil. Meanwhile James had decided to spice up the pancake mixture a bit and added blueberries inside

"The book doesn't say it's wrong James so I don't think it will do any harm." Remus replied after James asked.

Severus glanced at his wrist watch and swore "sorry guys you just continue making the pancakes I have to go and attended to the potion. See ya" and with that he disappeared from the kitchen

"Oh well I guess you really have to ouch the oil now Tom" James chuckled.

Tom gulped and lowered his finger into the pan. He yelped as soon as his finger touch it.

" The oil is hot guys" he said as he blew on his finger to ease the pain he felt there.

"Is the mixture ready guys?" Remus asked James and Sirius who were trying with all their might to stir the concoction.

"Yup it's ready" they answered and brought it to the stove.

" Well what are you waiting for pour it in" Tom said impatiently.

James poured the mixture into the pan until the whole surface was covered.

"Now we wait" he said dejectedly

"Why don't you just put the stove on high?" Sirius asked

"I guess that could work" Remus replied as he turned the heat up. Suddenly they heard a voice float up from the basement

"Guys come see what the potion does!" Severus' voice cried excitedly. The marauders hurried down completely forgetting the pancake on the stove.

Three hours later the boys resurfaced from the basement to find that the house was covered in smoke "The pancakes!" they all cried as they scrambled to the kitchen.

Severus managed to put out the fire that had occurred in the pan while the others opened all the windows in the kitchen and dining room. They glanced at the charred mess inside the pan and turned their heads in disgust. Severus threw the pan and the pancake mixture into the dustbin.

"What now?" he asked turning to face the others

They all thought for a moment before a chorus of "Pizza!" rang threw the manor. They never attempted to cook ever again

**End flashback**

Remus descended the stairs of the manor to find the house in a total sea of pizza boxes, crisp wrappers and Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans everywhere. He shook his head slightly

"What a mess" he murmured as he headed to grab himself a cup of coffee. As he entered the kitchen, which was the only place in the whole house that was even moderately clean, the phone which had been installed by Violet, rang. Remus picked it up and heard Lily's voice on the other end

"Hello" she practically sang

"Hi Lily how are you and Severus there in France?" he asked

"Oh we're fine. We just called to tell you that we decided to cut our honeymoon short and are coming home today"

Remus paled dramatically "ttttoday?" he stuttered

"Yes today Remus. We'll be there at six this evening okay see you then" and with that Lily hung up.

He phone cluttered to the floor and the other marauders, who had come down when re us was busy on the phone, glanced at him curiously. Remus raised fearful eyes to them

"Lily and Severus are coming home today" he whispered.

Imsocrazy: sorry for the short chapter but I am a bit busy. Be nice and review and maybe when we get to the reviewers page we will hand out cookies right Tom?

Tom: cookies

Imsocrazy: until next time cheerio!


End file.
